your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
