I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
