I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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