Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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