Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
