U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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