Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
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