woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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