no, he came in my armpit
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I currently don't understand fingers.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
