the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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