Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
