Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
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