I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
if only i could text you this smell
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
