Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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