Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
