As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
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My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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