I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
