is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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