Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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