i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
