I have demons in me.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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