Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
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I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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