just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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