no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
