Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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