One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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