its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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