Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
