Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
my liver is dry heaving
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Randomize
