Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
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when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
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Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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