The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I am midnight drunk by noon
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
My ATM looks so different sober.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
