It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
He shit in the fireplace
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