i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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