Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
