I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
