Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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