sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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