I am spending my child support on dildos
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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