I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
you made out with another girl for some wings
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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