Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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