i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
