Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
