Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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