Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
