I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?