Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(337): View more from Louisiana

Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.

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(337): Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm. http://tfl.nu/whuj

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(623): View more from Arizona

I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.

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(623): I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take. http://tfl.nu/lajr

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(954): View more from Florida

I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.

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(954): I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom. http://tfl.nu/1p31

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(505): View more from New Mexico

Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.

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(505): Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait. http://tfl.nu/lp7a

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(801): View more from Utah

Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.

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(801): Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro. http://tfl.nu/3s7e

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(937): View more from Ohio

Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.

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(937): Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like. http://tfl.nu/1ho6

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(+61): View more from Australia

How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.

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(+61): How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face. http://tfl.nu/d4p2

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(314): View more from Missouri

I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?

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(314): I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go? http://tfl.nu/u68l

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(573): View more from Missouri

I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...

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(573): I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were... http://tfl.nu/299s

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(734): View more from Michigan

If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.

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(734): If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend. http://tfl.nu/pm1j

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome

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(+44): Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome http://tfl.nu/l1fy

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(908): View more from New Jersey

After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.

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(908): After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher. http://tfl.nu/fy1c

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(757): View more from Virginia

do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress

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(757): do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress http://tfl.nu/1usj

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(310): View more from California

You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.

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(310): You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag. http://tfl.nu/d3da

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(914): View more from New York

It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you

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(914): It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you http://tfl.nu/ff5c

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