so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
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Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
theres a video...
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.