im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
