great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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