I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i just had sex bonerless
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Randomize
