and next time when you feel me up, do it right
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
