One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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