i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
