dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
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