Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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