You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I have already put on my inside pants.
You were trust falling into bushes
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
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