she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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