nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
