I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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